B O T H E R ! !
by UNseated4TH
Summary: Ichigo and Zangetsu take their bothersome boredom out on the 13 court guard squads. Beware of deliberate oocness, utter failure of logic and umptuous amounts of crack. Because the author was just as bored as the characters.
1. Bothering the 1st

**A/N: I'd like to dedicate this fic to my sister, Rhi.**

**Also, it's set after the SS arc and just before the Arrancar arc. Oh and this is crack, so there's OOCness.**

**BOTHER!!**

**PROLOGUE: **Ichigo and Zangetsu were sneaking sneakily into the soul society. They were going to have some fun…now…

**BOTHERING 1****ST**** DIVISION**

The evening begins just like any other. Yamamoto sits down at his desk to sign paperwork and Chojiro stands by silently.\

Suddenly, two malevolent pranksters burst out from underneath the desk. How they got there is a mystery to all. The two begin to romp around the room, wreaking havoc within the headquarters.

"Hahahaha!" cries Ichigo, "Yamamoto is a 1000 year old virgin!"

"Nanana!" adds Zangetsu.

"Leave, you delinquents!" shouts Yamamoto, rising up from his seat.

Chojiro unsheathes his zanpakto.

Ichigo skips over to Yamamoto. "Why do you look so old?" he asks.

"Because I _am_ old! Honestly, just how thick are you?" replies Yamamoto, shedding his top layer of clothing and wielding his giant stick.

"Eeep!" squirms Ichigo.

"Why don't you ever say anything?" Zangetsu asks Chojiro whilst poking him, "are you some sort of mute?"

Yamamoto then hits Ichigo on the head with a stick, making the idiot's number of brain cells lower still.

"Get out!" says Yamamoto, flailing the stick in the air and catching fire.

"Eeeep!" say Ichigo and Zangetsu.

They run away, towards 2nd division…

**Yes, I was indeed bored. Review and flame if you want. The next chapter will be funny, because they're gonna annoy Soi-Fon. Lets see how long they last…**


	2. Teasing the 2nd

**BOTHERING 2****ND**** DIVISION**

A knock comes from the door. Soi-Fon assumes it is Omaeda.

"Just come in," she calls.

However, the door doesn't open, but rather another knock comes from it.

Sighing, Soi-Fon gets up from her desk and walks over to the door. When she opens it however, no one is there.

Meanwhile…

Ichigo and Zangetsu are hiding behind some bushes, laughing as Soi-Fon walks back into her office.

"Let's knock again," sniggers Zangetsu, and the two advance upon the door, knock and run again.

"Hehehe…again…" says Ichigo.

This time however, Soi-Fon is ready for them.

"Aaargh!" cry Ichigo and Zangetsu as they turn and try to run away from her.

But Soi-Fon is a master of flash-steps and she catches up fast. She then corners the two perpetrators.

"What is the meaning of this?!" se asks furiously.

Ichigo thinks she looks scary and hides behind Zangetsu, who is already hiding behind him. He then looks to an undisclosed location somewhere behind Soi-Fon.

"Hmmm…that's a funny place to put a microwave…"

"Wha…?" Soi-Fon turns and looks behind.

Ichigo and Zangetsu take this opportunity to laugh and run into Soi-Fon's office, closing the door.

Soi-Fon can't believe she fell for such a stupid trick and instantly chases after them, but they have locked the office door. Soi-Fon is locked outside.

Meanwhile, inside the office Ichigo and Zangetsu are laughing annoyingly.

"Hahahaha, did you see her face?"

"Hahaha, yeah she was mad"

"She was real mad"

"She was scary"

Suddenly, the other office door opens; Ichigo and Zangetsu quickly hide thinking its Soi-Fon. But it's just Omaeda and his rice crackers. There is angry knocking at the door, and Omaeda goes to open it, only to have his captain fly in, in a flury of rage.

"Where are they?" she demands.

"Where are who?" asks Omaeda dumbly.

"Those two invaders! Where have they gone?"

"Invaders?"

Suddenly, a laugh comes from behind a tea towel. Zangetsu has blown his cover.

Deciding there's no use in hiding, Ichigo too comes out of his hiding place from under a chair.

Zangetsu begins dancing around Omaeda. He takes the rice crackers and hides them.

Ichigo laughs at Soi-Fon, calls her 'short' and plays with her long hairpieces, tying them in a knot and tying her to a lamppost.

By now, Omaeda is searching desperately for his rice crackers, and Soi-Fon looks funny. And angry.

Ichigo and Zangetsu quickly flash-step to the third division.

**What will they do in Third Division now that there's only a lieutenant? Reviews make me write faster!**


	3. Indignifying the 3rd

**Heyy guys~! I've noticed people have faved and alerted, but no one's reviewed yet! If you review....I'll bake you a pie ;) It will only take a couple of seconds pof your time, Thanks. (And just so you know a plot _will _develop throughout the chapters)**

**BOTHERING 3****RD**** DIVISION**

Ichigo and Zangetsu arrive at third division. It isn't very lively. They see Kira. He is laying asleep on the table, a couple of empty sake bottles nearby. Ichigo and Zangetsu approach him and do many annoying things, like poking him and splashing with water.

Nothing happens though.

"Borrring," says Ichigo, "lets go"

"Wait," says Zangetsu.

"?"

"Can we draw on him?"

"!!!"

**What will they do to the 4****th**** division?! Review and find out!**


	4. Harrassing the 4th

**BOTHERING 4****TH**** DIVISION**

It is a calm and quiet night at the 4th division headquarters. Hanatarou is tending to their few patients. Lemura is writing about how good he looks without his glasses. Unohana is finishing off some paperwork. Isane has finished all her commitments and is deciding to take a nap. She is having a nice, peaceful time, until –

"Aaagh! Cheese cake!"

Damn those nightmares.

She is just getting back to sleep, when a voice sounds in her ear.

"The cheese cakes are coming…they're gonna get ya…the cheese cakes are coming…"

Isane sits bolt up right, only to see Ichigo standing over her, laughing.

"Ahaha! You sleep like a little kid!"

"Go away ." says Isane.

Meanwhile, Zangetsu is bothering Unohana.

"Why do you wear your braid like that? Why don't you wear it down your back? Can I touch it?"

"Would you stop pestering me about my braid?"

"Are you having an affair with Zaraki Kenpachi?"

"No, what would make you think that?"

"Is that _really _paperwork you're doing?"

Unohana quickly puts away the 'paperwork'.

"Oooooh…" says Zangetsu, "Unohana has a boyfriend~!"

"I don't! Now get out of my office, before I force you out!"

Zangetsu doesn't need to be told twice and he quickly evades the scary captain.

Ichigo has moved on from Isane and is now bothering Lemura about his glasses.

"If you really look so much better without your glasses, then why don't you take them off?"

"Because then I wouldn't be able to see where I'm going."

Ichigo quickly takes Lemura's glasses and hides them in Hanatarou's bag. Lemura is left looking for them.

Meanwhile, Zangetsu is bothering Hanatarou. He has replaced all of Hanatarou's energy pills with fakes.

Now Unohana is getting angry. Despite her calm appearance, Ichigo and Zangetsu have heard she is the strongest Woman in the Soul Society. Now they are really scared. They run.

**What will there be for them to do in 5****th**** division now that only Momo is there? Would love it if you review, see ya next time xoxoxo**


	5. Overlooking the 5th

**BOTHERING 5****TH**** DIVISION**

"…" says Ichigo.

"…" replies Zangetsu.

They are at the 5th division. Momo is sleeping.

"Let's go," says Ichigo, "we won't bother her. We wont even draw on her."

"Okay," says Zangetsu, "we'll be at 6th division next, so we'll bother them twice as much to make up for it."

"Good idea!"

They then leave inspired, arm in arm with each other and Roy.

**They're gonna bother 6****th**** division twice as much! Oh oh…will Byakuya be able to stand the two majestic idiots?! Reviews thanks!**


	6. Waitasec

"Waitasec…"

"Roy?! As in Roy Mustang?!"

"What's he doing here?" O.O

"I don't know…Any case, let's push him into that pond."

"Okay!"

(Splash!)


	7. Assaulting the 6th

**Charliechick Note: I'm baaaaack~!**

**Sorry about the delay. My internet was out for ages and then I had SC exams. Also I've been working a lot on my Christmas story, which you can check out on my profile. Anyways, here is chapter six! (Or seven…?)**

**ASSULTING 6****TH**** DIVISION**

It is getting late. Renji is alone, walking back to the 6th division barracks, whistling to himself. He does not notice the movements behind him. Suddenly, he hears the snap of a twig. However, when he turns around nothing is there. The same thing keeps occurring again and again.

Meanwhile…

Ichigo and Zangetsu are trying not to laugh as Renji turns and continues walking once again.

"Shhh-sh…now, while his back is turned…"

They quickly and quietly move along from their disguises within shrubs. Renji turns again. He is too stupid to notice the two shrubs are always at the same distance from him, no matter how far he walks. He turns and continues walking towards the 6th division. The two shrubs follow……

SOME TIME LATER

"I'm here, Captain," says Renji, entering Byakuya's office. Byakuya finishes the sentence he is writing before looking up and asking, "Why are their plants behind you, Lieutenant Abari?"

"What? Plants?"

But before Renji can turn, two beings spring forth from the plants. Three guesses who they are.

Forgetting Renji, they rush over and seat themselves either side of Byakuya. Given how close they are to said captain, one would think they have never heard of personal space. Byakuya is now squished between the two bodies. If he is feeling any annoyance, it is not apparent. But neither is any other emotion.

"Sneaking in behind Abari, disguised as mere shrubs…" he says coolly, "How cute."

There is a very long, very awkward pause.

"I meant weak!" says Byakuya, quickly.

But the damage has already been done.

"Ohhhh…" says Ichigo, "Buya-Kun thinks were cute~!"

"Which one is the cutest?" asks Zangetsu, as they move in closer still to the disgruntled Captain.  
"Neither," replies Byakuya coldly, "I hate you both. Please die."

"What?!" says a very shocked Ichigo, "How could you, Byakuya?! I thought we had something special!!!"

And with that, he runs over to the Lieutenant.

"Renjiiii-Chan!!! Buya-Kun is being mean and scary!"

"Don't give me that revolting nickname." Says Renji, "And get off me."

The later comment only makes Ichigo latch onto Renji's leg tighter.

"Renji, you love me, don't you Renji?!" Ichigo wails.

"Not as much as Bya-kun luffs meh!" says Zangetsu, latching onto a disgruntled Byakuya.

"Naaaaaaaaaw!" says Ichigo, forgetting about poor Renji and pushing him aside.

"I lufffes Bya-kun!!!!!" his declaration is heard everywhere. By everyone.

Byakuya has had enough.

"Bankai!" he says.

"EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeePPP!" says Ichigo and Zangetsu. They disappear to 7th Division…

**Charliechick Note: You may have noticed I changed the chapter names, lol. I thought it would be more fun than just 'Bothering'. Next chapter will be out sometime, after I'm done with my Christmas story. ;)**


	8. Briefing the 7th

**BREIFING 7****TH**** DIVISION**

Ichigo and Zangetsu run and sneakily sneak into the 7th Division's barracks. They were lucky to not get hit by Byakuya's Bankai.

"He really overreacted," remarks Zangetsu, "What did we do to provoke it?"

"I don't know…" shrugs Ichigo, "Maybe he got jealous of you hugging Renji…"

"Probably…" They round the corner and see Iba, who is making plans for the SMA. They then go and tease him about it, when suddenly the Captain shows up.

Komamurra has been alerted to the two's prowling and has come prepared.

"Bankai!" he says as soon as he finds Ichigo and Zangetsu.

"Eeep!" they say and scurry away from the giant, over to the 8th Division.


	9. Attempting the 8th

**Charliechick: Thankyou everyone for the feedback! We still have a bit ahead of us too ;) I'm on holidays now, so I plan on having this fic done within the month. I'm going up the coast for three weeks on the 9****th****, so I plan to have it all done and posted by then ;)**

**I forgot to say this before: Happy 2010!**

**ATTEMPTING 8****TH**** DIVISION**

Having just escaped from Komamura's giant of a Bankai, Ichigo and Zangetsu lean against an 8th division building, panting and laughing.

"Hehe, that was funee~" says Ichigo, smiling goofily.

Zangetsu gazes up at the insignia on the building they are leaning on.

"8th Division, huh? Lets see who we can find here…"

They have not gone far, when they come across a poor, defenceless officer who was on his way to take a leak. Seeing his as an adequate target, Ichigo and Zangetsu pounce. Quite literally.

After a number of minutes of frantic struggling (on the division officer's part), Ichigo and Zangetsu have successfully succeeded in rolling the guy up in the carpet and rolling him up and down the hallway. That is until they here a voice behind them.

"What on Earth are you doing to that poor officer?!"

Ichigo and Zangetsu slowly turn, grins still frozen on their face, but evident horror in their eyes. For before them stands Ise Nanao. Ise Nanao isn't happy. And an angry Nanao is scarier than a Captain's Bankai. Or so they say.

Ichigo and Zangetsu quickly shake off all the intimidating rumours they've heard about the Vice-Captain and decide she would be fun to tease. However, they soon discover that the rumours were true. Ise is indeed very scary when she is ticked off. Ichigo and Zangetsu are now cowering behind each other as she prepares to show them what she looks like without her glasses. However, Shunsui suddenly pops up out of nowhere and stops this action from happening.

"I'm the only one whose allowed to annoy Nanao-chan," he says.

Nanao hits him with her book and disappears of to somewhere. Shunsui then invites the two preposterous criminals into his office for tea and sake.

Seeing this as a prime opportunity to get in some quality bothering, they enter the captains office and start to do annoying things. First, they jump on the pile of cushions in the corner, and start a pillow fight. Then, they pull out crayons and begin doodling on all the paperwork. Shunsui doesn't really mind though, in fact he welcomes it. Ichigo and Zangetsu continue to attempt to annoy Shunsui, but it doesn't work. Shunsui is an unbotherable guy. Ichigo and Zangetsu get frustrated and bored with trying to annoy him and end up picking on each other. Shunsui has to step in and stop their bickering. In the end, they simply give in and set with having sake and tea with the captain. Epic fail on their part.

**Charliechick Note: Next up is 9****th**** Division! Whatever will they do to our poor Shuuhei?**


	10. Messing With the 9th

**MESSING WITH 9****TH**** DIVISION**

Ichigo and Zangetsu take a leisurely paced stroll over to the 9th Division. It is not long before they cross paths with Lieutenant Shuuhei Hisagi.

"Hi guys," he says in a friendly way, as he walks over to him.

He is greeted with snickering from the other two.

"What's so funny?" asks Shuuhei.

"What's with the 69?" asks Zangetsu.

"It is in honour of someone I once met…" replies Shuuhei

Poor, innocent Hisagi is only bombardoned with more laughs.

"But why '69'?" asks Ichigo.

"Well," begins Hisagi, "The last name of this man I met was 'Muguruma'. It shares the same kanji as the number six. See?"

Hisagi takes out a pen and piece of paper and inscribes the kanji for '6' and 'Muguruma'. He's right. The kanji markings are the same.

"And what about the nine?" aske Zangetsu, raising an eyebrow.

"Easy," replies Shuuhei, putting the pen and paper away, "He was Captain of 9th Division. Put it all together and you et '69'"

"Ahhhhh…" say Ichigo and Zangetsu, making the connection in their small minds.

"Are you sure the 69's not meant to mean something else as well?" snickers Zangetsu.

"What?" blinks Hisagi, tilting his head slightly "Is 69 supposed to mean something else?"

"Bend over and I'll show you," sniggers Ichigo.

Zangetsu slaps him on the hand for thinking dirty thoughts, as Hisagi is in pre-bending over stance, being the childishly innocent-minded sod he is.

"Lets not mess with him too much, Ichigo. He's still a kid," says Zangetsu.

"Oh right," says Ichigo, "I was only gonna kick his but if that's what you were wondering…"

"Good to know, good to know…" says Zangetsu, "Hey Shuuhei, why is this place so boring?"

Hisagi shrugs., "I wouldn't call it boring. It's whatever you make it, I guess…"

"Do you have any way to contact your Ex-Captain?" asks Ichigo.

"Yes actually," replies Hisagi, holding up a phone, "Along with the rest of Las Noches for that matter."

"How did you get that?" ogle Ichigo and Zangetsu.

"When my Captain left, he didn't know wether he turned the iron off or not," explains Hisagi, "He grew highly distressed and had to call me. I now have the number forever saved on the Seireitei's database."

"Had he turned the iron off?" wonders Zangetsu, in a concerned tone.

"Yes," says Hisagi in a soothing voice, "Yes he had…"

Thee is a momentary silence before Ichigo blurts out something on his mind, "If you let us use your phone, we wont bother you, or take advantage of your naivety!"

"I don't think you have been doing that anyway," says Shuuhei, frowning slightly, "But by all means, use the phone," he hands it over to them.

Ichigo and Zangetsu excitedly run into an unoccupied room. They look in the phone's memory and dial Las Noches, putting it on speaker. They hold in their snickering as the phone begins to ring…

**Charliechick Note: Hoped you liked that ^.^ Yeah, so next chapter won't be 10****th**** division yet, but something else for you to look forward to. Hopefully I'll get it posted tomorrow. Be sure to review! ;) See ye next time :)**


	11. Effing with the Espada

**Kris: I would like to thank fanficssuck for coming up with the title for this chapter. I had something else in mind, but this was better. Also, this is set at some point before the Arrancar arc, so Ichi and Zangetsu don't know any of the Espada yet.**

**EFFING WITH THE ESPADA**

_Ring ring. Ring ring._ Goes the phone.

Ichigo and Zangetsu have the phone on loudspeaker, sitting on the table in between them. They snicker, but fall silent when the phone is picked up.

"Hello ?" comes a voice belonging to neither Aizen, Gin or Tousen, "Who is it?"

Zangetsu then begins speaking, with no prior thought, "Tell us your name first."

"My name is-"

He is interrupted by Ichigo, "I like cheese."

"Hey, don't interrupt me! Or I'll kill you!"

"Huh?"

"As I was saying, I am the-"

"I think you should get to the point," it is Zangetsu interrupting this time.

"I will! Just let me say my name!"

"That's all we're asking you to do," says Ichigo.

"My name iiiiis-"

"You know once I was talking to this guy and he would just not tell me his name…" says Zangetsu.

"How frustrating!" says Ichigo.

By now, the person on the other end of the line is getting very angry, "Grrrrrrrrr!"

Suddenly, another voice is heard on the other end of the line, in the background.

"Grimmjow, what have I told you about answering the phone when I'm not here?"

A grumbling is heard from the one they had been harassing, who is apparently named Grimmjow, before the other picks up the phone.

"Sorry about him…Who is this?" asks the voice. Ichigo and Zangetsu recognise it as Gin's.

"Never mind," says Ichigo, "Just let Aizen and Tousen join us."

"Hmmm…okay!"

Gin is now making connective calls over to where Aizen and Tousen are. Tousen picks up first and whines to Gin. Ichigo and Zangetsu can't quite understand what he is saying, but it has something to do with a high phone bill. Gin doesn't seem to care.

Aizen picks up the phone next "WHAZZZUP GIIIIIN, MA HOE?!" he declares loudly for all to hear.

"Umm…Aizen-sama…" says Gin, "We have company…"

"Oh"

There is a long awkward pause, in which Ichigo and Zangetsu snicker.

"Whose there?" asks Aizen dumbly.

"We're from the video company," responds Ichigo.

There is another pause.

"Aizen…" Tousen says in a warning tone, "Have you pulled up another video bill?"

"Uhhh…" says Aizen, "I don't know…"

"It's for the Hanna Montana movie," Zangetsu contributes.

"Aizen!" whines Tousen.

"What the?! I swear it wasn't me, it was Ulquiorra!" Aizen is going into damage control.

"Don't blame these things on others, Aizen" says Tousen.

"But he's telling the truth!" says Gin, "Aizen doesn't like Hannah Montana, but we all know Ulquiorra does!"

"Can you prove that Gin?" asks Tousen.

"Yeah, I can," says Gin, "Don't you see Ulquiorra's Hannah underwear every time you do the washing?"

"Umm…" says Tousen.

"He can't see, remember Gin?" remarks Aizen.

"Oh right, my bad…" laughs Gin.

The three evil defectors continue rambling on about bills and the costs of running Las Noches through their phone system.

Ichigo and Zangetsu grow bored and hang up on them.

"Let's go see what Shiro-chan is up to…"

**Kris: Stay tuned! 10****th**** Division is next!**


	12. Tormenting the 10th

**TORMENTING 10****TH**** DIVISION**

For once, Hitsugaya has nothing to do. He is just about to sit peacefully and enjoy a cup of tea, until he is quickly whisked away to an amusement park.

"Surprise!" shout Ichigo and Zangetsu

"Huh? Where have you bought me?" asks Hitsugaya.

"An amusement park, duh Toushiro," replies Ichigo, pulling the captain along behind him.

Hitsugaya sighs. This was not how he wanted to spend his free time. "And that's Captain Hitsugaya to you! And where's Rangiku?"

"Already taken care of~!"

"Huh?"

Earlier…

"I wonder where captain has gone…" Rangiku wonders aloud, "oh well, he'll show up eventually. Now…Sake time~!"

However, when she reaches her secret sake stash, she gets a terrible shock.

"Where has my sake gone?!"

As if to answer her question, Zangetsu walks through the door with a sake bottle in hand, taking a final swig, before placing it within his robes.

"Did you say something?" he asks.

"Where did you get that sake?" she asks.

"Oh, this?" asks Zangetsu, unclothing the bottle again, "I found it…on the ground…"

"You took my sake!" Rangiku whines.

"Oh…" says Zangetsu, "so this is your sake? Opps…I didn't know…"

Rangiku continues to whine and complain, "but why the sake? Why? Whhhy?!"

Zangetsu is reminded of that moment in Pirates of the Caribbean.

Suddenly, Ichigo walks in.

"Heres some more Sake for you," he says and hands Rangiku a bottle.

"Thankyou!!" she says.

""Now let's go an find Toushiro," says Ichigo as he and Zangetsu depart.

Little does Rangiku know that her 'sake' is apple juice…

Meanwhile…

Hitsugaya's mouth hangs open as he watches the cart on the red-tracked rollercoaster ascend the sky high, almost-90-degree slope at a lightning speed, before descending on the same angle and whizzing around the rest of the tangled infrastructure. He suddenly feels excited and glad to be at the amusement park.

"I want to go on that ride!" he says, pointing it out to Ichigo and Zangetsu.

"Very well," says Ichigo, "lets go then!" They line up and wait in the cue.

When their turn comes, Ichigo and Zangetsu excitedly get into seats next to each other. Hitsugaya is about to join them, when he is stopped.

"Sorry, too short," Says the instructor, "you might fall out. We can't let children on."

Hitsugaya is extremely annoyed at his lack of hight and jealous as Ichigo and Zangetsu go for the ride of their lives, while he minds their stuff. TEN TIMES IN A ROW!

Ichigo and Zangetsu finally decide to get off, before purchasing photos of themselves on the ride, pulling faces for the camera.

They move on to the next ride—an acceleration stimulator. It looks like massive fun, as the people are hauled up into the air at alarming speeds. The three que up and wait. When their turn comes however, a similar procedure to what happened with the last ride occurs, and Hitsugaya must suppress the strong urge to go Bankai on the operator's ass.

"I'm not a child, damnit!"

Next they go to a large rollercoaster in which the riders are strapped into harness—like seats, before rocketing off on a 750 metre journey of loops, twists and craziness.

And once again, poor Hitsugaya is left out due to his lack of height.

Finally, Ichigo and Zangetsu decide to go Hitsugaya-friendly ride. So they head over to the tots section. They see a large white building and a sign labelled 'Looney Tunes Boat Ride'. They decide to go on it.

For once, Hitsugaya is within the height restrictions for the ride. But then again, even babies can go on it, so it's no real achievement. They get into a room and some chick talks about taking the lift to an amazing adventure and what not. But all Hitsugaya wants to do is get on the boat ride. Finally, the chick stops talking and lets them onto the 'elevator', which will take them to somewhere so they can find some guy. When they are on the elevator, dumb special effects sounds happen and then they are suddenly supposably transported to the other side of the Earth. And they're not upside down.

Hitsugaya is remarkably unthrilled by the greater part of the boat ride. As they drift along, cheap special effects continue to buzz around them. Suddenly, rapids begin to pick up and the ride becomes interesting. Then the ride is over. Just when it was getting good. Hitsugaya is not impressed.

They continue to walk around the kiddie land, but there is nothing Hitsugaya wants to go on. They are all for little kids. Why does he have to put up with this? He is older than anyone here! Especially that stupid Ichigo…

They round the corner to see a new development. Bumper cars! Hitsugaya's face shines with delight, and he runs over to the vehicle-driven ride. There aren't many people in the cue either. Once they are let in, Hitsugaya runs and jumps into a sky-blue coloured car and Ichigo and Zangetsu climb into red and green cars respectively. Hitsugaya just can't wait to drive into those two annoying idiots…

Suddenly, he hears the voice of the conductor behind him, "Uhh, sorry, children ride with adults."

Hitsugaya then feels himself physically lifted out of the car. He is then conveniently placed on Ichigo's lap.

Hitsugaya is not impressed.

Ichigo lowers himself and whispers in Hitsugaya's ear, "Hi Toushiro~!"

Hitsugaya tries to remain calm. "That's _Captain _Hitsugaya to you."

Hitsugaya is then humiliated for the rest of the time at the amusement park, when Ichigo insists on carrying him on his shoulders everywhere. Hitsugaya is not impressed.

**Kris: There you have it! The amusement park in this chapter is based on Movie World on the Gold Coast, QLD Australia. A very fun place, but they DO have height restrictions on the good rides. You have to be 140cm+ to go on them, and Hitsu isn't even that tall. 11****th**** Division is next, so stick around!**


	13. Aggravating the 11th

**Aggravating 11****th**** Division**

Aggravating the eleventh?! Are they crazy? Do they have a death wish?! Well here they go…

Ichigo and Zangetsu start by linking arms and skipping into the eleventh's territory, an act that is sure to get them beaten up by anyone who sees them. Soon enough, they are surrounded by a bunch of random 11th Divisioners who think they're cool.

"What do a couple 'a pansies like you think you're doing in 11ths land?" asks one, as he steps toward them, brandishing a sake bottle.

"Commuting." Replies Zangetsu.

"Commuting…" ponders the 11th Divisioner, "With who?"

"The Captain," states Ichigo, "It's a very important mission." He nods sagely.

Deciding they don't want to get involved with these guys, the11th Divisioners part and make way for Ichigo and Zangetsu to skip on through.

Not wanting to use the door, Ichigo and Zangetsu climb through the closest window. Which just so happens to be Yumichicka's bedroom. They open the closet to see all of his wonderful clothes. Developing a brilliant idea. Zangetsu pulls out a horde of dorky 80s clothes from nowhere.

"I'll replace all his clothes with these," he says to Ichigo, "You go and find someone else."

Ichigo nods his head and exits the room. He isn't walking for long, when he finds Ikkaku, who is sitting behind a desk, doing paperwork. Yes, miracles do happen once in a million years. Ichigo climbs onto the desk, messing up the paperwork.

"Are you naturally bald?" Ichigo asks, laying about on top of his desk.

"What's it to you?" sneers Ikkaku.

Ichigo then pulls out a blue sharpie. "Can I draw an arrow on your head?" he asks, "There's a character from a cartoon I think you should cosplay as…"

"No." says Ikkaku, bluntly pushing Ichigo away, "Unless you wanna fight."

"Naw ." says Ichigo.

Meanwhile… after replacing all of Yumichicka's stylish clothes with daggy shifts, Zangetsu moves on to Yachiru's candy stash. He replaces all the candy with seaweed rolls. He is coming out into the 11th's main hall, when he meets up with Ichigo. Ichigo has just escaped from Ikkaku, who now looks like that kid from that cartoon, courtesy of Ichigo's arrow drawing skills.

They run out the door, laughing and dacking Makimaki on he way. Luckily for everyone else in the vicinity, Makimaki is wearing boxers. Ichigo and Zangetsu get to the training grounds, and sit down, panting and laughing. A yell is heard from back at the 11th's barracks. Apparently Yumichicka has discovered his new wardrobe.

"We'd better move," says Zangetsu.

"Yeah," says Ichigo.

Just as they are getting up however, they feel a strong spiritual pressure come over them. It is the 11th's Captain, Kenpachi.

"Ichigo," he greets, smiling.

"Hi!" says Ichigo.

Zangetsu feels entirely left out. "What about me?" he whines to Kenpachi, "Are you gonna say hi to me as well?"

"Oh yeah, sorry about that. Hi."

Zangetsu feels happier now.

"How about we have a bit of a sparring session, Ichigo," Kenpachi suggests, drawing his nameless sword from its sheath.

"I have a better idea," suggests Ichigo, "Zangetsu and I have set you up with someone who wants to see you."

Zangetsu nods. "It's true."

"Really?" asks Kenpachi, "Do they wanna fight?"

"I'm sure they would if you asked them nicely," says Ichigo.

"Who is it?" asks Kenpachi.

"We can't tell you," says Zangetsu, "It's a blind date."

Kenpachi sighs. His division (namely Ikkaku and Yumichicka) have set him up with blind dates numerous times. Not one of these blind dates he would have considered either. He nearly cracked when it was Mayuri Kurotsuchi. No one dared approach either Captain for weeks after that incident.

"Fine," says Kenpachi, "I'll go on this blind date of yours…but it had better not be someone weird. Or a man. And I'd better get a good sparring session after this, Ichigo!"

Ichigo and Zangetsu snicker as they lead him on…

Sometime later, they arrived at a bridge by 1st Division. There waiting on the other side is Chojiro Sasakibe. Kenpachi stops in his tracks and Ichigo and Zangetsu snicker.

"You set me up on a blind date with _him?!_"

But before Kenpachi has the chance to turn around, Ichigo and Zangetsu have already taken off and are a ways up the pathway.

"Oh no you don't!" says Kenpachi, coming after them.

"Eeeeep!" cry Ichigo and Zangetsu.

Kenpachi is soon joined by a very dorkily dressed Yumichicka and an airbender cosplaying Ikkaku. None of them are amused. When things don't look much worse, they do. Yachiru has discovered the makeover of her candy stash, and she is fuming! Very soon, the rest of the 11th Division have joined in the chase, some for pure enjoyment.

However, soon it isn't just the 11th who are chasing after the two perpetrators. As they run past 2nd Division, an angry Soi-Fon and Omaeda join in the chase. And things are not going to get better…

**Kris: There you go ;) Next chapter wont involve 12****th**** Division yet, as it will be another in between 'filler'. It will be entitled: The great chase. I'll leave it to you to try and guess what will happen in it. So stay tuned! Review!**


	14. The Great Chase

**THE GREAT CHASE**

As Ichigo and Zangetsu run, more and more people seem to be joining in, as though it is some sort of marathon. Only it's not. They are all after the two annoying idiots. Already the Soutaicho, Chojiro Sasakibe, a bunch of 1st Divisioners and the whole 11th Division are after them.

As they come past the 2nd Division, they notice Soi-Fon has untied herself from the pole, and Omaeda is still searching for his rice crackers. However, upon seeing Ichigo and Zangetsu they too join the angry mob. While Ichigo and Zangetsu run in circles around the Seireitei, more people join in the chase. Some people who didn't hear anything of the bothering actually think _is_ a marathon, and join in enthusiastically. Momo is among them.

"Ara…what happened to you, Izuru-kun? You're all drawn on…"

Izuru is less than impressed.

"Why are we so unpopular with everyone all of a sudden?" wonders Ichigo.

"I don't know…Maybe because we bothered them?"

"Hahahaha! Good one."

"How dare you bother us!" the growing crowd chants.

"On second thoughts…maybe you were right…"

"Get back here!" shouts Renji, as he swings Zabimaru around, almost hitting some of the innocent marathon runners.

Hitsugaya and Rangiku also join in the chase, along with Komamurra and Iba. The Soutaicho angrily flails his giant stick, and Unohana looks eviler than ever. Roy can be seen nearby attempting to use his fire powers, but he can't as he is still wet.

There are various jeers and hollers from the oncoming crowd.

"You filth aren't even worth chasing!" yells Soi-Fon.

"You made me look stupid!" fumes Izuru.

"You make me look like a dork!" protests Yumichicka.

"I am NOT an airbender!" Yells Ikkaku.

"What's the other meaning of 69?" asks Hisagi, "Can anyone tell me?"

"Come and have some more sake!" calls Kyouraku, who is also following them.

"You are fools and need to die." Speaks Byakuya.

"Why's everyone so mad?" wonders Momo.

"Where did you put my rice crackers, damnit?!" whines Omaeda.

"I keeeeel you!" shouts Renji.

Ichigo and Zangetsu run faster. This is getting tricky. And scary. Everyone is coming at them with killing intent. And Bankais are everywhere.

"After them!" declares Yamamoto, "Don't let them escape!"

"Yes sir." State all the people who were bothered.

"Quick!" says Ichigo, pointing ahead, "The 12th Division is just over there! We haven't bothered them, so they might give us shelter from these false accusations!"

"Aye aye, partner," replies Zangetsu, as they hurry toward the gates of 12th.

**Kris: Only two chapters left! Review, thanks guys ;)**


	15. Ransacking the 12th

**Ransacking 12th Division**

Mayuri can see them coming. But then again, who could miss them? They can be seen from up to ten miles away from the large dust cloud that has formed due to ample pairs of feet running after them.

As soon as Ichigo and Zangetsu arrive at the doors of 12th Division, they frantically knock immediately.

"Mayuri!" they shout, Let us in Mayuri, they're gonna Bankai us!"

However, as most people know Mayuri is a sadistic man, and would enjoy an afternoon's (or in this case, nights) entertainment of watching the two idiots get beaten up. Until he gets an offer.

"Come on!" says Zangetsu, "If you let us in, we'll let you experiment on us~~~!"

"Well that changes things," says Mayuri, "Nemu, open the gates for them."

Nemu complies, and Ichigo and Zangetsu run into the division, as Nemu closes the gates before anyone else can enter.

"Nemu," addresses Zangetsu pass, patting her on the head, "Get a life."

Nemu appears both shocked and inspired by this statement.

"Hehehe, Zangetsu," says Ichigo, "Wont it be funny that if now we're here, we NOT let him experiment on us."

"Hey, you're right!" says Zangetsu.

They then hide behind a pole.

"I can see you, you know," says Mayuri.

"Rats!" says Zangetsu, "You blew our cover, Ichigo; you're too fat!"

"Na-uh!" says Ichigo, "He could see you too!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Sure!"

"Bring it on!"

"Alrighty, betch."

"Uhh…" intervenes Mayuri, "I would very much like it if we could get a start on these experiments now."

Ichigo and Zangetsu look at the Captain and grin, before running in two separate directions.

"The experiment subjects are on the loose!" Mayuri announces to his Division, "After them!"

Rin goes after Ichigo, and Akon goes after Zangetsu. As they are running, they look around the strange Division, at all the weird and wonderful things and people. They meet up again at the exit, which is (in)conveniently blocked by Nemu.

"No running in the lab." She says.

Oh no! Rin and Akon are catching up!

"I think it's time" says Zangetsu.

"I think you're right…" says Ichigo.

"RELEASE THE GOOSE!" they both declare.

_Release the goose?! _Think the 12th Division members,_ Whatever could that mean?_

It means exactly what it sounds like.

A large goose erupts from out of nowhere and begins ransacking the division. Everybody is completely shocked.

"Lets go!" says Ichigo, as he and Zangetsu use the perfect distraction to run to the only place they know is safe…the 13th.

**Kris: One chapter left I think ;) Unless I add another idea I have...which I think I might...Review your thoughts!**


	16. Cowering in the 13th

**Cowering in 13****th**** Division**

"You have no one to blame but yourselves, you know…" says Ukitake as he watches Ichigo and Zangetsu cower beneath his table.

"Can you see them?" asks Ichigo.

Ukitake looks out his window, "They're a ways off, but yes."

"What should we do?" asks Zangetsu.

"You can stay here I guess," says Ukitake, "Seeing as nearly everyone else is at least mildly ticked off at you…"

Despite their cowering, Ichigo and Zangetsu snicker.

"Why did you come and bother everyone anyway?" asks Ukitake, "Surely you would know that getting on the wrong side of the Gotei 13 isn't a smart thing to do…"  
"We just couldn't help ourselves." Replies Ichigo.

"Even so…" says Ukitake, "It would be difficult for you to explain that part to the Soutaicho."

Ichigo and Zangetsu giggle feebly as Kiyone and Sentarou walk into the room.

"Captain…" addresses Kiyone.

"Rukia Kuchiki has returned from her mission, sir!" completes Sentarou.

Ichigo and Zangetsu immediately cease their giggling and snickering and try to make themselves scarce as Rukia walks into the room. It doesn't work and she spots them right away.

"Everybody's looking for you two," she says bluntly. "It would be wise to go and face them before they get even madder."

"Uhh…" says Zangetsu, That's not such a good-"

"Out there NOW!"

Rukia swiftly shoves poor Ichigo and Zangetsu out the door, where the angry crowd is waiting.

"Well…" says Zangetsu, ogling at the mass of people. "Good luck Ichigo. I'm out." And with that, he promptly turns back into a sword.

"Zangetsu!" whines Ichigo, now alone as the angry crowd advances on him.

The 12th Division has also joined in the chase, and the giant goose can be seen along side them.

_What do I do, what do I do…_thinks Ichigo, as various Bankais creep toward him.

"Stop!" comes a voice. It is Rukia.

All of Ichigo's angry pursuers stop and look over to her.

"Ahh, Rukia…" says Ichigo, "I knew you'd come to my rescue…"

"We don't all need to come at Ichigo," says Rukia, "In fact I'd prefer if I could have a one on one with him."

There are various noises of surprise from the crowd.

"Why is this?" asks Byakuya.

"Because," explains Rukia, "There is something I have been working on and it's finally ready. I have been waiting for an appropriate time to use it, and what a better time than now." She turns to Ichigo and brandishes Sode no Shirayuki. "Rise, Ichigo."

Ichigo laughs, "Why do you wanna fight me, shorty?"

Rukia's eye twitches, "Shorty, hey? Heh, I'll show you shorty…"

"Huh?" Ichigo blinks dumbly.

"BANKAI!" shouts Rukia.

"Ah crap…" whines Ichigo.


	17. The Big Side of Little Rukia

**Kris: Thanks for all the reviews, everyone! Here comes the final chapter! Hope you enjoy.**

**THE BIG SIDE OF LITTLE RUKIA**

Ichigo watches as Rukia grows. And grows. And grows. She's the same height as him now. Now she's taller and still growing… Eventually, she is two metres tall. The crowd backs away slowly.

"Wooooow..." says Hitsugaya in awe, wishing his bankai was like that.

"Crikey!" cries Kenpachi, his exclamation earning him a few odd stares.

"Yay, Rukia!" says Ukitake.

"Hehehe. Lol," says Soi-Fon.

"Back in my day, short people stayed short!" says Yamamoto, "The nerve of the young there days..."

"What an interesting Bankai..." says Mayuri, "I'd ever so love to dissect it..."

Kira simply squints and grins at the unfolding scene. His Captain would be proud.

"Well done, Rukia!" Momo claps.

"What a woman!" drips Roy, visualising her in a miniskirt. The sick pervert.

"Uuaah..." says Hisagi, blinking up at the tall Rukia.

"But I wanted to be the tallest in the family..." whines Byakuya.

"She's still shorter than me," comments Komamurra.

"Well I think she looks loverly," smiles Unohana.

"Come and have some Sake!" says Kyouraku.

"W-what?" gasps Ichigo, his mouth left agape.

"Does this form surprise you?" asks Rukia.

Ichigo nods, his mouth still open dumbly.

"This extra height allows me more strength and reiatsu," explains Rukia. "But that's hardly the tip of the iceberg…"

Suddenly, the air around Ichigo becomes heavy and cold. It is all dark, and ice envelopes his body. But the worst is yet to come…

Some time later, Ichigo is taken to 4th Division, and the crowd disbands, satisfied that the Ranga got what he deserved.

Needles to say, Ichigo and Zangetsu never bothered anyone ever again. And no one ever dared to call Rukia 'short'. Ever.

The Seireitei once again returned to it's majestic peace. Until the following Tuesday, when Aizen came along and blew it up. But that's another story.

Le fin.


End file.
